Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve by Lewis B. Smedes

Experience True Freedom Through the Life-Changing Art of Forgiveness

About the Book

Forgive and Forget by Lewis B. Smedes is a timeless masterpiece that addresses one of life’s most difficult challenges: how to truly forgive those who have hurt us deeply. Drawing on decades of theological insight and pastoral experience, Smedes presents a practical, step-by-step approach to genuine forgiveness that doesn’t minimize pain or demand instant reconciliation. This book has helped countless readers break free from cycles of anger, bitterness, and resentment, offering a path toward emotional healing and spiritual wholeness that feels both honest and achievable.

From the Back Cover

“When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.” This book will change how you understand hurt, healing, and the transformative power of letting go.

About the Author

Lewis B. Smedes was a distinguished professor of theology and ethics at Fuller Theological Seminary for over 25 years. Renowned for his ability to translate complex theological concepts into practical wisdom for everyday life, Smedes authored numerous influential books on grace, forgiveness, and Christian living. His compassionate, down-to-earth writing style has made him one of the most trusted voices on forgiveness, helping readers across generations find healing and hope.

Who Is This Book For?

This book is essential reading for anyone carrying the weight of past hurts—whether from betrayal, abuse, broken relationships, or deep disappointment. If you’re struggling to move forward, feeling trapped by anger, or wondering whether true forgiveness is even possible, Smedes offers both comfort and practical guidance. It’s perfect for individuals in therapy, those navigating relationship challenges, spiritual seekers, or anyone ready to experience the freedom that comes from genuine forgiveness.

What You’ll Discover in This Book

Through Smedes’ compassionate guidance, you’ll learn the four stages of authentic forgiveness, understand why forgetting isn’t required for healing, and discover how to forgive without condoning harmful behavior. You’ll gain practical tools to release resentment, protect yourself from future harm, and rebuild trust wisely. Most importantly, you’ll find permission to forgive at your own pace while honoring your pain—a balanced approach that leads to lasting emotional freedom.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: Does forgiveness mean I have to forget what happened or reconcile with the person who hurt me?
No. Smedes makes it clear that forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting the hurt or restoring the relationship. You can forgive someone and still maintain healthy boundaries for your protection.

Q: Is this book based on Christian principles or is it for everyone?
While rooted in Christian theology, the practical wisdom applies universally. Readers of all backgrounds have found Smedes’ approach accessible, compassionate, and helpful for healing emotional wounds.

Q: How long does it take to truly forgive someone who deeply hurt you?
Smedes explains that forgiveness is a journey, not a single moment. This book guides you through realistic stages of healing without rushing the process or demanding immediate results.

Q: Can this book help if I’m struggling to forgive myself?
Absolutely. The principles Smedes teaches about releasing resentment and embracing grace apply powerfully to self-forgiveness and breaking free from shame and self-condemnation.

Q: What makes this forgiveness book different from others?
Smedes doesn’t offer quick fixes or minimize pain. His approach is deeply honest, theologically grounded, and psychologically sound—acknowledging that real forgiveness is hard work but ultimately liberating.